I Was Wrong

Move away from Satan, Michael Cera. This is the worst thing ever.

Ace Ventura, Jr. - Pet Molester
Ace Ventura, Jr. - Pet Molester

What I’d like to know is: which Hollywood casting agent was walking into McDonald’s, spotted this fatass eating his fifth Flurry and said to himself, “Oh, my GOD! That’s IT! He’s the spittin’ image of Jim Carrey! WE’VE FOUND OUR NEW ACE VENTURA!” – and then proceeded to run around the joint attempting to high-five random obese people eating Big Macs?

Because that really happened. It’s a true story. My friend’s cousin’s nephew’s uncle’s roommate saw it happen on Gawker.

Let Jim Carrey’s soul rest in peace…and I say rest in peace in advance, because if they release any more atrocious prequels to his movies, with different actors, he’ll drop dead like those poor graphic design students.

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